Strong Women; Scared Women

I've been watching more Doctor Who today and found myself really liking River Song, at least for now. I felt even more on her side when I watched her wielding her gun with deadly accuracy in the episode "The Day of the Moon".

Her confidence and butt-kicking ability impressed me and endeared her to me. Why? Women are called to submission. We were created to be the protected, not the protectors. The Doctor was running around with his screwdriver, not doing any damage to the creatures, while his girl was killing them left, right, and center.

This poses an interesting question about me. What is it about strong, female characters that makes them so attractive to me? I want to emulate that behavior, but that's not the "gentle and quiet spirit" (1 Peter 3:4) God finds so beautiful in His Princesses.

Ever since I was a little girl, I've always favored the female characters (not in a lesbian way at all!), and the strong female characters at that.

As a child I remember that my favorite character in Charlie Brown was Lucy Van Pelt.

Snarky, bossy, know-it-all Lucy. Mean Lucy who always, without fail, pulled Charlie Brown's football away.

Then there was Angelica on Rugrats:

Snarky, bossy, know-it-all, mean Angelica. Always telling the babies what to do. Spoiled little girl.

Who could forget the Muppets, and my favorite Drama Queen Miss Piggy!?

 She had her own, very assertive way of doing things and had a mean head-butt when angry.

I was also a fan of Alvin and the Chipmunks, and guess which one I liked best?

 Brittany from the Chipettes of course! Sassy, bossy, drama-queen and the leader of the girls who frequently told the Chipmunks off. No one stole her lime light and got away with it.

Middle school was marked with Pokémon, and which character suited my fancy best? 

Misty. She was always telling Ash off for being a dumb boy and yelling about her bike he destroyed. Misty was a force to be reckoned with. 

Another favorite was Jessie from Team Rocket (the girl on the right). Again, the same sassy girl who was the leader and strong female who was telling her partner James what to do all the time.

Fast-forward a couple of years, Harry Potter enters the scene and I am struck with admiration of a smart girl with bushy brown hair and a thirst for books that is never satisfied. 

Hermione Granger, still a bossy, know-it-all girl, but this time I admired someone who was truly kind and not a drama queen (shocker!) When I was 11 years old I wanted to be just like Hermione. She was never good at combat, not like the other characters were, but that didn't matter. She was smart and kind,  and she was always looking out for her friends.

Why was it so appealing to me for the longest time to like girls who bossed boys around? Why did they need to be so assertive? Why didn't they allow the boys to be the leaders? Maybe it's the Lion personality type in me that liked these types of female characters. I was always such a girly girl that I would seek to identify with the female character I related to best. I think that this created a lot of bad habits in me. This makes me wonder about the power of characters on children--especially lonely little girls. I was searching for an identity, and a way of treating others. As a young child, I did not look for it consciously in the Bible, but was carried along subconsciously by the media.

This taught me that I needed to be in control of situations. And, now that I think back to River and these other characters--they seemed so confident and in-control. I guess I wanted that security in being able to take care of myself. To know that I could be "that good". To know that nothing could happen without my consent. This is a dangerous place to be, especially for a woman. We were designed to be led, not to lead. I crave deep down, not for control, but to be under someone else's control. Yet, because of fear, I am driven to be in control, and that makes me more afraid--like a child who has no boundaries. Besides, I'm not really in control of anything--God is, and it must break His heart to see me scrambling around trying to keep things under control. It's like trying to keep water in my bare hands--it doesn't work.

There is nothing wrong with a woman being a strong character, but her strength must come from the Lord and should not be used to emasculate men or try to keep things going her way. Her strength should be in her surrender, her complete surrender to the creator of the universe who knows her and wants to guide her every step.

Our beauty as women should not come from how we look, or how many men we can control but:
"Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."                                                  
 ~1 Peter 3:4

My prayer is that God will change my heart. That He would grow in me a "gentle and quite spirit" and that He would teach me how to be more submissive. I am something of a leader, which is a good thing in some circumstances, but in others it is a dangerous and negative thing. I pray that I may be a radiant young woman of God who is beautiful because she submits to Him and reflects His beauty.

One of my favorite passages is Psalm 45:10-17. It is a wedding song, but I read it as though it was written with God as the king and me as the princess. "The king is enthralled by your beauty" (v.11), "All glorious is the princess within" (v. 13). I took this verse and used it in a poster design project at school.  

It is the fruits of the spirit, manifesting inside a young woman of God that make her sparkle. These traits are not "great fighting ability" or "emasculation" but rather they are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. (Gal. 5:22-23).
I hope that God will continue to grow each of these traits in me, like pearls in an oyster.