Good Pride?

Pride, we all hate it. We shudder to admit that we are proud, or we proudly flaunt it to get attention. Either way, as Christians, we are taught to hate pride and do all we can to crush it into humility. This is a worthy goal, BUT....

What's this? you might be thinking--there are no ifs, ands, or buts when it comes to pride. I disagree, and so does Paul.

I was reading Galatians for my Bible Study today and came across a verse in chapter 6 that I was not familiar with. I've read the whole Bible, and most of it I've read multiple times, but this passage seemed to leap out at me in a way that it had never done before.

"Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load." ~Galatians 6:4-5

This was in the section about carrying one another's burdens. But look at that! It says that we are to take pride in ourselves. Woah! What are you talking about Paul? Are you crazy?! We can't be prideful! That's a sin!! False.

Pride in oneself is not wrong. But look at how Paul sets it up, we are to take pride in ourselves, testing our actions against ourselves, NOT others. This is so often where our pride is found, in feeling that we are better than others. That is where boasting comes from too, which Paul goes on in chapter six to bash saying that our only boast should be in Christ. I believe that pride in our personal growth, in our good deeds, and in ourselves as children of God is not only allowed, but necessary. Self-confidence that we are growing in Christ and made in His image, and even in our accomplishments is needed. Otherwise, we tell God over and over that His progress in us, and His very creation of us was broken and not good enough. Our self-esteem and pride should come from God and who we are in Him, not by making ourselves feel better than others.

As women, I know that this can be a challenge. So often, I see someone who seems to have it all, beauty (inside and out), some skill I wish I was better at, a good group of friends, a significant other, and a seemingly perfect life. This makes me feel inferior and I can either find things about them that I can do better, or I find a bunch of other people who I can raise myself above. This does not always happen, but sometimes it does. Even a thing as simple as a woman having a larger chest than me can make me feel inferior and feel the need to find something that I have which she doesn't. This is the wrong kind of pride.

This is Satan's twisting of something God meant for good. So, let's kick Satan down and take pride in ourselves, the right way! By finding our pride in God and our own selves, not in how we are better than others.

Science Fiction and Nerding Out!

So, yesterday I saw Batman: The Dark Knight Rises in the Seattle Imax and went to the Experience Music Project, a unique music, scify, and pop culture museum. I geeked out so much at the museum!! I guess I should talk about Batman, let's just say it was better than I expected. I would love to talk about it with you in person or over text. But I think you can figure out my favorite character:

I mean, she is just another example of the kick-butt Lion type personality female characters I like to watch on the silver screen. I need to stop being so silly with my Photoshopping though. lol

Before entering the Scify part, we walked through the traveling exhibit on Avatar. It was rather interesting, even though I'm not a big fan of the movie. The artists model renderings of the heads were really cool and I discovered that the Avatars make me look even shorter. lol

 Then it was on to the rest of the museum:

 Star Trek was there of course! Uhura's and Data's uniforms were there along with Kirk's Captains Chair and lots of tribbles.

 Star wars was also present with Darth Vader's Lightsaber from the original series, his scars from Return of the Jedi, and Yoda's staff and necklace.

More pieces included a model of the alien spacecraft from Independence Day, the blaster gun from Men in Black, and Neo's coat from the Matrix. An assortment of weapons lined two cases, and the large Klingon bat'leth on the right was especially familiar. :)

The Piece dé resistance if you will was the Imperial Dalek from Doctor Who. The Seventh Doctor encountered this one, and it was really cool to see a real one in person. EXTERMINAAATTEE!!!

After that we wandered into the horror film section. Most of these were foreign to me, but I enjoyed seeing a few that I was familiar with:

 This wall gave you funny shadows when you stood in front of it and moved around.

 This suit was worn by a guy in Michael Jackson's Thriller music video!!!!

And these belong to a certain Jonny Depp Character: Edward Scissorhands!!! I love that movie!!! 

So, I just wanted to share my nerdiness with y'all. I hope you don't disown me over this. So, I must end this post in true nerd fashion, Live Long and Prosper!!

The Little Things

This post is a response to Lauren's post about the happiness that comes with the little things in life. http://simplesongwriter.blogspot.com/2012/07/little-things-vbs.html#comment-form

The last post I drafted was one in which I was feeling angsty about my life and problems (Diabetes, other various health issues, being cut off from friends and being stuck at my house). I just felt trapped, like a caged bird.

I have since got over this angst, and though sometimes I just think having Diabetes sucks, I know that this caged bird can still sing, in spite of it's circumstances. Now, I don't have it bad, I am so blessed with many wonderful and huge blessings. I know that I am better off than most even with my challenges. But I don't want to talk about the big things, because sometimes the little blessings mean the most in the moment. Although, in the absence of the big blessings, I'm not sure we would notice the small ones as much.

Little joys: The soft fur of a cat as you give her attention. Her contented purrs and kisses when she's happy. The smell of a hot breakfast in the morning. The smell of my mother's cooking at night. Painting cross-legged, on the cool grass in the backyard with one eye on the canvas and the other on the gorgeous clouds. Seeing Brave for the first time. Finding a song that perfectly describes your feelings. Skypeing with friends. Talking on the phone with friends. Getting a text from a friend. Seeing a comment on your story from friends. Hugs from those you love. A Mickey Mouse Tumbler full of cool water. The Disney Store employee remembering you. When a cat jumps up to be on the bed you are blogging from. Playing Just Dance until you are worn out. Cleaning while rocking out to music. Memories of friends from college. Getting appreciation for your artwork. Completing a painting or drawing. Laughing with someone about the past. Laughing till it hurts. The smell of Old Spice on my dad. Finding my mom's red head in a crowd. Closing all the curtains of my canopy bed. Falling into bed ready to sleep. Finding the perfect item of clothing at the store. Seeing friends so in love. The anticipation of a wedding. Ghirradelli 60% coco chocolate squares. Seeing pictures of the ones I love on facebook. Hearing about friend's plans changing for the better. Writing a new piece of fiction. Getting a new creative idea and doing something with it. Getting a comment from a dear friend unexpectedly. Freshly painted fingernails. Finding someone who understands and shares your nerdiness. Finding a lot of these someones and feeling like you finally found where you belong.

All these things add up to make a girl very happy. These are things that I am surrounded with and experiencing right now. How can I fail to be grateful when I see all the joys God has showered on me. Counting my blessings truly makes me thankful for everything. God is so good. He does not promise me a happy life, but a full one (john 10:10) so I will count my blessings while I have them and look ahead toward whatever God has planned for me next.

So, I'll challenge you to do the same thing, what are you thankful for? What are the small things in life that add up to meaning a whole lot? Once you start, you'll find you can come up with more than you have room to write. :)

My Story

So, I hope y'all have been enjoying my first crack at writing fiction that other people actually get to read. I have no idea where this story is going, but you didn't hear that from me. Since it's getting so long, I think it makes the most sense to move it from this blog to another one. I've transferred all the past 7 posts to this new address:

http://rosewritesfiction.blogspot.com/

There you will find all the old posts and the new ones as part 8 and beyond are written. Happy reading!!

(7) The Tomb of the Dead

I'm not a person who would count herself as having a weak stomach, but the combination of extreme dehydration, being left unconscious twice, and waking up in a room full of hundreds of rotting corpses pushed me over the edge. My vision blacked out, there was a ringing in my ears, and I collapsed on the stone ground. I pulled my matted hair behind my head just before I wretched.  The only thing that came up was stomach bile and the last remains of that potion which burned my throat. Dry heaves followed and I had to lay there for a long while before I felt well enough to sit up again. Sweat was trickling down my face and neck and tears had leaked out of my eyes. My body was feeling rough. I needed to get out of there or I was going to die from dehydration. I clutched the stone table I had lain on for support as I raised myself into a standing position. The smell of death and rotting flesh filled the room, it was strong enough to overpower the smell of my own vomit. I stared around for a way out. In the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a body sit up under its sheet. I snapped my head around, stifling a small gasp, but nothing seemed changed. All of the bodies in my field of vision were laying down, no doubt decomposing into the stone. My mind must be playing tricks on me. I continued to scan the room, but there was another movement in the corner of my eye. Once I had a good look: nothing. I was allowing myself to get creeped out. I had to stay strong. I was only afraid of the unknown. I couldn't let fear rule my life. I paused for a moment, and closed my eyes.
I carried my fears to their logical conclusion:  
What if the bodies, the half-decomposed corpses, were moving. So what? What was I afraid they would do? The worst they could do would be to kill me. Well, I had already faced death once, besides, I wasn't afraid of death at all. When my time came, be in now or years later, I would welcome it.
My eyes opened with a sigh of relief. This time, they did not hesitate in finding the only opening leading out of this tomb. I started walking that way, knowing I needed to find water before I joined the corpses from natural causes. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a great deal of movement. I kept my eyes forward. Just because I was no longer afraid of the ultimate consequences of my fear, didn't mean that corpses stalking me wasn't affecting me at all. When I walking as fast as I possibly could manage in my condition the movement behind me reached a very noticeable level; I jerked around. Over half of the bodies in the room were following me. Their sheets were still over their ruined bodies, making them appear like one imagines ghosts. They all stopped moving the instant I turned around. Only the folds of the fabric settling into new positions showed how quickly they had been following me. I didn't know what to do. I tried backing up, but I stepped on someone's foot, and it wasn't alive.

They had me surrounded.

(6) A Message Beyond the Grave

I was swimming. My body was floating up through the levels of cool water that got colder with each successive level. The surface was in sight, but the light above was darker and more like torch light than sunlight. I became more aware of my senses as I reached the surface of the water. I opened my mouth to gulp air the moment I reached the surface, but I gagged on cloth instead.
I opened my eyes as I pulled the thin, white cloth out of my mouth. The cloth seemed to cover my whole body. I stared through it at the stone ceiling above me. I seemed to be in an old cavern. A torch nearby provided light for me to see. I laid there for a moment, wondering what was going on, then a voice started talking to me...from inside my head...and it wasn't mine.

It sounded familiar, but I could not quite place the man's tired voice at first, "Hello, you are hearing me now because of a potion I gave you between the extraction of your memories and your death. Contrary to what the Beasts and even you believed, I was not planning on killing you. I merely made you appear as one who was dead. Your thoughts were conveyed to the Beasts. I hope that you told them only what you wanted them to know. I gave them whatever you thought about. I have been forced into doing the Beast's dirty work for years, but I'm sick of it. I'm going to be long gone by the time you wake up. I'm only glad that I was able to save your life. I'd do anything for John, and I know he'd want you to be protected. This message is almost over. You're on your own now. I won't be able to help you anymore. Just one last thing before I go. Try to stay calm, they're not going to hurt you."

I laid there, staring up at the stones thinking about what this man left in my head. He had saved my life, and I didn't even know his name. He was safer that way, but how did he know about John? I puzzled over that for a moment before I was overwhelmed with thirst. The potion had dried my body out and the cloth had left a musty taste on my parched tongue. I sat up quickly and got dizzy from dehydration. My vision went black for a moment as the cloth slid off my face. As my eyes adjusted back I saw that I was indeed in a torch-lit cavern. I was on a stone table. There seemed to be a lot of other similar stone tables covered in sheets like mine. I swung my legs over the side of the table and looked more closely at the one next to mine. I saw the shape of a body under the sheet. I lifted the cloth, wondering how many sleeping people were down here.
I had to shove my fist in my mouth to keep from screaming.
The body under the cloth was half-rotted and crawling with maggots. The skin was mostly off the skull. It stared ever upward with empty sockets.

I was in a room full of hundreds of corpses.

(5) Prepared for Death

The man looked into my eyes with an unfathomable expression. I opened my mouth to tell him what I thought about the Beast's plan, what he could do with his potion, and most of all...that there was no way in a thousand years that I would give the Beasts any information. Before I had more than one angry syllable out of my mouth he poured the orange liquid down my throat. I spluttered angrily and would have cursed at him if he hadn't shaken his head sadly at me and held a finger to his lips. I didn't really need the gesture, the potion had a debilitating effect on my ability to speak.
I was spinning into a world of orange oblivion. Blue and green stars burst before my eyes and I lost all connection with my physical body. My thoughts automatically jumped to the thing that brought them the most comfort: John. The Beast's must have known this would happen, but they underestimated a young woman's love and what that could enable her to do. In my spinning delirium I snapped my mind away from all truth relating to John and fell back to old stories, hear-say, and general myth. I wove a tale so brilliant that I defied even the Beasts to discover it's falsehood before I was dead and the secret dead with me. Locked inside my head forever.
I only hoped John would escape from the Beasts forever. This was all I could do. This was all I could give. I would protect him in the only way that I could. I felt the delirium lessen. Blackness was creeping in around the edges of my mind. I was fading. Where was that light at the end of the tunnel people always spoke of? I guess it was just a story to help the weak face death with more courage. I was prepared to die. I was more than willing to die for the one I loved. The blackness was almost completely enclosing me now. "Goodbye John" I thought. "I will..."
Silence in her mind. She thought no more.